Daniel Nazareth's Blog

When we receive negative feedback, too often we forget the importance that it has on our personal growth. We know that we can’t see a complete picture of reality on our own, yet in the moment, we get caught up defending ourselves and take things personally. We must remember that feedback isn’t usually about who we are; rather, it’s most often about our performance or actions. 

The challenge is that few people are able to present feedback in a way that makes us feel comfortable accepting their opinion as valuable information. However, even poorly delivered feedback can add value. If we’re going to learn from the situation, then we must avoid going down the rabbit hole of analyzing “the way it was said” and instead shift our focus to, “what was said.” So, is there any truth to what was said? 

When we’re emotional, this question is seldom answered immediately following negative feedback. Instead of reacting in the moment, we may find it more effective to respond with: “I appreciate your feedback and I’d like to think about what you’ve said. Can we get together tomorrow and discuss the best way forward?” If we can bear it, we may even follow up by asking, “Is there anything else I should know about?” By acknowledging and making sure nothing goes unsaid, we demonstrate that “what was said” is important to us, and the other person feels heard. Since people often reflect our own behavior back to us, responding in this way can clear a path for insight and understanding from both parties. 

In the following discussion, it may be helpful to ask clarifying questions. Just like medical professionals, if we don’t do a proper diagnosis, then we won’t get the right prescription. By approaching the feedback with curiosity, we can ensure that we completely understand their objections and determine how to turn them into objectives. As objections are simply the way people often express their desires, the person who provided the feedback can be extremely valuable in navigating the best way forward. We don’t have to tackle this challenge alone.

We should keep in mind that being open to hearing feedback doesn’t mean that we must follow what others have said. It’s simply an opportunity to create an honest environment and explore valuable insight. By demonstrating that we’re willing to listen to the opinions of others, we increase the chances that someone comes to us with exactly what we need to hear.

What other suggestions do you have for responding to feedback?

With care,

Daniel Nazareth